Twisting Fate Amy's Story Part 3
by Jackie Onassis
Summary: Amy's most challenging and life-threatning moments in her life are compelled all into this third installment in her series. While struggling to balance her love life and friendships, she's also dealing with a long-forseen burden and a sense of betrayl. R
1. Waking Up

**A/N: Well, I really honestly hope that I get a lot of reviews for this 3rd part story, because this was the season I worked the absolute hardest on. You have to remember, your reviews and criticism mean the world to me, and I like nothing better then to see my inbox with some reviews, irregardless if they're good or bad. So please, send reviews!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the awesomeness of LOST, but Amy and Jude are my own creations, therefore, you can't steal them. OWNED BITCH!**

At first, nothing more but a quiet, dull noise filled my ears, like the sound of a fly buzzing near your ear. But soon, that noise became louder and louder to the point that it was the equivalent to someone screaming in my ear. I sat up with a jolt, and then immediately fell over from the head rush. After a minute or two, my vision finally adapted to the room I was currently in. I had been laying on the cold tile floor of what appeared to be some kind of bathroom in grand central station in 1962. Thankfully, I knew better to realize I was not actually IN Grand Central Station, and became more alert.

It was definitely a bathroom, small tub in the corner, toilet, sink, the works. In the corner was a small wooden door, and by instinct alone did I try the door. Locked, of course. What kind of bathroom door locked from the outside? The walls were covered with decay and muck, and their was a foul smell emanating off of the toilet, but it was otherwise somewhat sanitary. I staggered over to the sink and grabbed hold of either side of the counter, steadying myself. When I looked up at my reflection, I almost recoiled from shock.

It honest to God looked like I hadn't slept in years, and I looked completely high. I tried to think back to what I last remembered, but my head hurt from the slightest pressure. I shakily pulled the rubber band off of my wrist and pulled my dirty, disgusting hair back into a sloppy ponytail. My white sweater had been taken off, so I was just wearing the Slipknot t-shirt and jeans. I looked down at my belly (which was poking out from under the shirt) and placed my hand there. He was ok...the baby was alright. Further up on the mirror was a note, taped to the thin glass.

_Go ahead and take a bath. Once you're finished, press the call button on the wall beside the door._

My mind, not being in the right place, was suddenly soothed with the thought of a relaxing bath. I stumbled over toward the tub and switched on the hot water as high as it would go before I adjusted the colder one. At first, the water poured out in a brownish color, but then it adjusted itself and began to fill the tub. A wave of nausea suddenly overcame me and I lifted the toilet seat and promptly vomited again. Shutting my eyes and sinking to the floor after I had finished, I flushed the toilet and leaned my head back against the bathtub. As I pulled off my shoes and socks, I forced myself to think a bit more logically.

_You're in the Other's camp_ I told myself. _Good, we've established the obvious. But now for the not-so-obvious, where are Kate, Jack, Hurley, and Sawyer? Well...for now....just play along. Everything else will unfold itself as long as you play along._

I reached behind me and switched off the knobs for the tub and finished undressing. I sank down into the burning hot water and gingerly laid flat, leaning my head back against the side. Charlie...was he alright? And Jude. He must've been here too! Maybe I would finally be able to get to talk to him, to try and see where we've gone wrong, and try to figure out what the hell's going on.

After relaxing for quite some time, I stepped out of the tub and dried off with a towel hanging on the wall. I grabbed my clothes and pulled them all back on before I walked over to the button by the door. The bath had cleared my head, and I knew the only thing I could do now was play along. I pressed the call button and took a step back. The door buzzed and then swung open, Tom standing there and smiling stupidly. Douche.

"Well it's about time you got up Princess. Did you enjoy your bath?"

"Where is everybody? Sawyer, Jack, Kate, Hurley?"

"Hurley was sent back to your little camp to warn everyone else not to come after you four. As for the others, well, I'm not quite supposed to tell you about two of them. For now, you're going to come with me, and you're going to wear this."

He held up a brown burlap sack the had been badly stitched together.

"And why the hell should I do that?"

"Because if you want that damn baby to remain in your belly," Tom answered with a bitter smile. "You'll do exactly as we say."

I glared and allowed him to put the sack over my head. He pushed me onward through a confusing array of twists and turns, so odd that I couldn't even try to map it out in my head. He pushed me forward until everything felt slightly cooler, and I could hear the screeching of a door shutting. I kept moving forward until finally we stopped. Tom pulled the sack off of my head and shoved me forward into a room before slamming the door shut behind me.

"Asshole!" I cursed under my breath. "Git, douche, scumbag-"

"I could probably think of a lot more vile names." Jack's voice startled me.

I spun around and sure enough, there he was, at least, what I could see of him. He was parted from me by a thick panel of glass. The room he was in was small, a table in the middle, and a chain hanging from the ceiling. He got up from the floor and came over to the glass, looking me over.

"Did they hurt you?"

I shook my head and put my hands up on the glass, leaning over to allow some sort of comfort.

"Nah, they even let me take a bath." I forced a smile.

Jack just nodded and looked at my stomach.

"The baby alright?"

"Well if he wasn't I would probably notice right away wouldn't I?"

"Yeah, that's true. Have you seen Kate and Sawyer?"

"No. I tried asking about them, but they won't tell me anything. Obviously."

"I'm going to get you out of here Amy." He said, seriously. "I'll do anything I can to get you out of here and

back to the beach."

"I really do hope so Jack. I want us all to get out of here. I want to go back home."

Home. It almost seemed to be the appropriate word for what we had back at the beach. It was really the only kind of home I had ever known. It was a place where I felt I would be safe and welcome no matter what happened, and suddenly, I wanted nothing more then to be back there, sitting with Claire and Charlie and Aaron by a fire, not worrying, just....waiting. Waiting for a rescue that was never going to come...just...waiting.

The door to the side suddenly swung open, and I nearly jumped in surprise. A woman stepped in, eyes wandering from me to Jack. Now, I wouldn't say she was extraordinarily beautiful, but she was pretty. Her long blonde hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and her light blue eyes looked so tired, I almost felt bad for her.

Almost.

"Hello Jack, Amy." She greeted us both. "I'm Juliet."

She paused after that, looking back over at me.

"I'm sorry." She stopped again. "We have to move you again."

"Well great." I smiled, tracing my voice with sarcasm. "Let's just see how much MORE marching you can make me do before my chubby preg-o legs fall off, shall we?"

Juliet half smiled and gestured to the door behind her. I stepped out toward the hallway and a familiar bag was draped over my head.

"Hello Tom. Lovely to smell you again." I said snidely.

He didn't answer. With a hard shove he started me forward again into the blazing heat, marching down what appeared to be some kind of muddy ground. I continued moving until he stopped me again, wrenching the bag off of my head and slamming a new door behind me. This time, I was in a cage, like the ones they would keep monkeys in at a zoo. There was a big rock-like seat in the center, and some kind of button with a fork on it in the corner. But on the ground lay somebody I didn't expect to see. He was still unconscious, and he needed to get up so I could confirm that they hadn't killed him.

"Sawyer!" I got down to my knees and shook his shoulder. "Sawyer! Get up!"

His eye cracked open and he looked up at me, as if he really had absolutely no clue who I was. After another moment or two he sat up, rubbing his head. I moved over to the rock-chair thing and laid down on it, my legs hanging over the side. Everything was incredibly hot as hell, the sun just beating down on my skin. Sawyer finally rose to his feet, surveying the area around him before he looked over at me.

"You ok Giggles?" He asked, keeping himself steady by holding onto one of the bars.

"Peachy. How about you Davey Crockett?"

He gave me a look that said 'Davey Crockett? What the hell?' but said nothing in reply to that.

"You seen-?"

"Just Jack, haven't seen anybody else."

I knew Jack wasn't quite the answer he was looking for, but that was all I could offer him at the moment. Across the cage, there was a boy sitting in a cage like us, possibly widdling something. He definatly didn't come with us; he had to be one of them. But then, why was he locked up?

"Hey!" I yelled at him, getting up from the rock. "Hey you!"

The kid looked over his shoulder in my general direction, but he didn't respond to me.

"Listen here! It's not like I'm asking you to help us escape, I just want to know about a person!"

The kid looked up again in the same manner, but did not turn his head away, but he didn't give any other indication that he was listening.

"There's a guy here, his name's Jude. And I know you know who I'm talking about so don't you dare lie to me. I want to know where the hell he is!"

The kid simply shrugged his shoulders and turned away from me again. I wanted to yell at him some more, but Sawyer held me back.

"Leave him be for now. Just, sit down Sparks before you pass out." His voice was eerily calm and....gentle.

I don't know what was worse, the fact that Sawyer was acting so calmly, or the fact that the term "gentle" could be applied to something Sawyer-like. Even so, my head was spinning, so I sat back down on the rock and shut my eyes for a moment. I pictured Jude's face, his touch...everything about him made my arms grow goose bumps.

"Who's this Jude kid anyways?" Sawyer asked, resuming his normal demeanor. "Some sort of punk redneck who can get us out of here?"

"Doesn't matter who he is Sawyer. Doesn't matter. It will only matter when I actually get to see him."

Sawyer, rolling his eyes, looked around the cage and tried to find something that he could use to get himself out of here. When failing, he instead turned to the button that had the fork on it. Shrugging his shoulders, he pushed it.

"_Warning."_ A computerized woman's voice responded.

"I wouldn't do that again if I were you." The kid said from across the way.

"Oh yeah?" Sawyer snapped back. "Well now look who's talking. Do me a favor and piss off, would ya?"

"Sawyer," I cautioned. "Maybe you really shouldn't-"

"Hush it Sparks. You wanna eat don't ya?"

With that, he hit the button again. But this time, when he hit it, it sent an electrical current out of it and sent him flying into the bars. I wasn't sure whether I should laugh or be horrified, but when Sawyer got to his feet unharmed, I just laughed at him.

"Look around Sawyer, there's gotta be a way to do this without shocking yourself. There's all sorts of doo-dads here, I'm sure you could figure it out if you applied yourself just a little bit."

"Yeah, yeah. Shut up."

**A/N: Alright, I know I ended it kind of on an awkward spot, but don't worry, this is just my starting up chapter. Starting chapter 2, things are gonna get crazy. I want at LEAST 3 reviews before I continue.**

**Peace,**

**-Jackie-**


	2. Surprise

Sawyer eventually figured out how to work the contraption inside the cage, but much to his displeasure, all it spilled out were pellets and a biscuit in the shape of a fish. He shrugged and picked it up, breaking it in half and offering a piece of it to me.

"Thanks, but I think I'll pass on the fish biscuit." I replied.

"You got anything better to eat?" He snapped.

I took it carefully from his hand and bit into it slowly. It wasn't the worst thing I'd every tasted, but likewise it wasn't the best either. I looked around the area, and my eyes rested on the spot where the kid....had been.

"Sawyer?" I pointed. "Where's that one kid who was in-"

Suddenly the kid appeared in front of our cage, and the alarms began to blare.

"I'm going to open the cage, and both of you run for it!" He ordered.

"What?!" Sawyer demanded when the kid began to open the door. "Are you crazy?!"

I leapt off of the rock as the door swung open and both Sawyer and the kid made a run for it. I waited a split moment for Tom and a few others run in the direction of Sawyer and the kid before I snuck off in the opposite direction. I wasn't interested in leaving just yet; I was more focused on trying to find Jude. He was around here somewhere, he just had to be. I wasn't going to wait around for him to find me, if he was even going to. I crept around the security cameras while the alarms screeched of the escaped prisoners and made my way into the building.

I had no idea where I was going as I made my way through the hallway, but pressed onward, hoping to find something or someone of importance. I snuck past all of the open windows and stopped in front of a heavy, metal door. It most likely led to a place I didn't want to go, but I wasn't going to find anybody unless I experimented. I slowly pushed open the door and closed it immediately behind me as I heard footsteps.

In the room were two rows of computer monitors, six of them in each row. There was a lounge chair right in the middle, so I sat down in it and scanned each of the screens. Most of them were pointed at random cages or parts of the forest that showed really nothing, but one of them was placed inside the room I had seen Jack in. He was sitting on the floor of the room, running his hand over his hair. I looked over each of the screens, but none of them showed were Jude was. Sawyer was back inside his cage, and he was angrily pacing back and forth. I looked among the rows of buttons and found one that switched off the one facing Sawyer's cage. If I could get him out again, I could have him help me locate Kate, get Jack out, and find Jude.

I slowly got up from the chair and exited the room. I started back down the hallway as carefully as I had come in and made my way back outside. It was a wonder none of them had found me yet, but I wasn't complaining. I made my way back to the cage Sawyer was locked up in and began to have a peculiar feeling. I tried to brush it off as nothing, but my stomach felt as though it was being squeezed. I made it back to the cage and Sawyer looked up and stopped pacing.

"How did you-?" He looked in the direction of the camera. "Go away!"

"I turned the camera off. I went inside and found a room full of monitors and such."

I grabbed the bars and used it as a guide back over to the door. I put one hand on my stomach as I tried to pick the lock with a bobby pin from my hair.

"You should be getting out of here!" He hissed at me. "They could be back here any second and would just lock you right back up."

"I'm not leaving without everybody else, now stop you're-"

The wave of pain that came off of my stomach sent a shock through my legs so violent that I actually fell down. I dropped the bobby pin and gasped, holding my sides.

"You alright Moonbeam? What's the matter?"

"Nothing, just, stomach cramps, that's all. Nothing to-"

But the next wave of pain came equally as violent, and I turned over onto my back. Oh shit, oh God, oh double shit! I knew what was happening, and it was the worst possible timing in the world.

"What is it?" Sawyer noticed the panic on my face. "What's wrong?"

"Sawyer…the baby's coming!"

"WHAT?! NO! Are you sure?"

I gasped in pain and wound my hand around the bar behind me. Suddenly I felt something warm run across my legs and my eyes widened even further.

"Oh my God, oh my God. My water just broke!"

"Shit. God dammit!" Sawyer stopped and picked up a rock off the ground.

He threw the rock at the camera in an attempt to get some sort of attention.

"HEY! HEY! SOMEBODY! WE NEED SOME HELP OVER H-"

"Sawyer!" I snapped at him. "Shut up! Don't call them! They tried to cut my baby out of me! If they find out I'm…aaaaarrggghhh!.. going into labor…they're gonna take the baby away from me!"

"Well what the hell else are we supposed to do?! I can't deliver a baby! I don't know what the hell to do!"

"Well what makes you think I know what to do?! Just HELP ME!"

Sawyer yelled and grabbed the bobby pin I had dropped off the ground. He stuck it inside the lock and began to pick at it until it came loose. He then picked me up off the ground and brought me back inside the cage, setting me down on the rock chair inside the cage.

"Ok, um, well, what the hell do I do now?" Sawyer snapped at me.

"DON'T SNAP AT ME YOU CHAIN-SMOKING JACKASS! JUST DO SOMETHING!"

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU EXPECT ME TO DO!"

"What's going on?"

Both of our heads snapped in the direction of Kate, who was being pulled along by Tom to the cage across from us. Tom looked at me, then Sawyer, and finally seemed to grasp what was going on. He shoved Kate into the cage and locked it shut before turning back to look at us.

"Now, now Sawyer. Don't worry. I'll take Amy away to our infirmary and we'll get some doctors to take care of her right away."

Tom started walking toward the cage while I shook my head frantically.

"NO! NO! DON 'T LET HIM NEAR ME! THEY'RE GOING TO TAKE MY BABY!"

Tom stopped walking just a few feet from the cage and looked sincerely at Sawyer, who was looking around frantically for some kind of help on what he should do.

"James, do you really want to try and deliver a baby all on your own?"

Sawyer looked back at me, then at Tom, and finally at Kate. Tom suddenly broke into a run toward the cage and Sawyer took the door and slammed it shut. He grabbed the lock off of the ground and clamped the door shut from the inside. Relieved, I laid my head back against the rock, pulling down my soaked undergarments while he had his head turned. Tom pulled out a gun and a walkie-talkie, aimed the gun at Kate's head, and radioed for Ben.

"Ben? Yeah it's Tom. The teenager's gone into labor. Ford has locked the both of them inside a cage, should I-?"

He paused.

"No. Wait? Are you sure? I just- No I just thought that…Yes. Yes I understand."

Tom moved the gun away from Kate and stuck it back in his pocket.

"Ben's on his way down now. He's going to try and work something out here."

"THERE ISN'T ANYTHING TO WORK OUT!" I screamed, fighting through the pain through the elevation in my voice. "YOU BASTARDS AREN'T GETTING MY BABY!"

Sawyer looked back at me, and then looked in Kate's direction.

"You delivered Claire's baby right, Freckles?"

Kate could only nod.

"Well then I need you to talk me through this."

The last thing I wanted was Sawyer, of all people, to deliver my baby, but since this was the only good option I had right now, I would just have to grit through it as best as I could.

"Umm…ok…you need to, count the contractions until they're about a minute a part. Then she needs to start pushing."

"You hear that, Moonbeam?" Sawyer was eerily calm. "Try counting-"

"I'M TRYING TO COUNT THEM! SHUT THE HELL UP!"

Ben appeared not even a minute later outside of the cage, while Sawyer tried to concentrate on what he needed to do. I pulled off my sweatshirt and laid it across my stomach to give myself a bit of privacy from everyone else.

"James, I need you to open up that cage door." Ben said calmly.

Sawyer looked away from me and walked up to the bars.

"Give me one damn good reason to open up these doors and let you two wheel her away."

"Because if you don't James, both she and that baby are going to die."

I could tell from the way Sawyer's shoulders sank he believed Ben. I squeezed my eyes shut tight and wished this would all end, when I suddenly felt the violent contractions getting closer together.

"What do you mean they're both going to-?"

"I've been reviewing facts about Amy's pregnancy, and I have strong reason to believe that she has contracted an infection while being here on the island, and if we don't cut that baby out immediately, they're both going to die."

"YOU'RE A LIAR!" I shouted. "A DIRTY, FLITHY LIAR! HOW WOULD YOU KNOW I'VE CONTRACTED AN INFECTION?"

"When you first came in, we took a sample of your blood. You have an infection Amy, and you're going to die. You, and your baby."

I could see straight through his bullshit, but Sawyer appeared to be eating every bit of it. Kate didn't know what to say, and Ben was waiting patiently for Sawyer to do what he wanted. Sawyer finally heaved a sigh and began to pick at the lock again.

"DON'T YOU DARE!" I yelled at him, kicking him in the side. "He's LYING! I can see it!"

Sawyer looked at me, and I saw that hate and anger burning up in his eyes again.

"Do you expect me to just sit here and try to deliver your god damn baby? I just need you to get the hell out of here so some doctors can do it. I don't give a damn whether you, or that baby makes it, I just don't want to deliver it myself."

"DON'T YOU START THE FUCKING BULLSHIT WITH ME SAWYER! DON'T PRETEND YOU DON'T-"

I yelled so loudly that Sawyer actually backed away from the lock. I looked down wildly at my stomach as the contractions began to beat a minute apart. Ben looked at Tom.

"It's too late. You wasted time. We'll have to do it here."

"You need to push NOW Amy!" Kate shouted at me.

Realization suddenly came crashing down on me as I became aware of the fact that I could either die, or my baby could. I shook my head frantically.

"I'm not ready, I'm not ready yet. It can't come out yet. Don't let it come out!"

"Amy, I know you're scared, but you have to push now!" Kate continued to instruct. "We can help you through this, just trust us."

"Just push dammit." Sawyer ordered, kneeling down by my legs.

Whether I wanted to or not, the baby was coming. I just wanted it out already. So, I began to push as hard as I could, feeling as the baby moved from where it had originally resided and out. Every inch of my body screamed in pain as the baby pushed all the way through, tearing at the skin. I screamed and yelled while pushing, barely catching Sawyer saying "I can see the top". Finally after pushing for what seemed like centuries, I felt a sudden wave of relief spread through my body. I collapsed back against the rock and gasped, my head drenched in sweat. I worked up enough energy to pick my head up and listen to the sound of the crying child…my child. Sawyer reached from the bars and took a blanket from Ben and wound it around my crying baby. I propped myself up as much as I could and Sawyer practically thrust the baby into my arms.

"What is it?" Kate asked excitedly.

Sawyer walked away from me and toward the end of the cage, his head on his arm.

"It's a boy." He answered in my place.

The crying ceased after only a minute or so, and my blood covered infant stared up at me with gorgeous bright blue eyes, examining his surroundings. I was struck with an enormous wave of emotions that tears began to build up in my eyes. My baby…my beautiful, wonderful, amazing little baby boy. He was more amazing and spectacular then I could have ever imagined, and he was all mine.

"If James would now kindly unlock the door, we can take you to get a change of clothes and let you wash off your baby." Ben said politely.

"How do I know you're not just going to take him from me?" I demanded.

"It's too late for that now. Come with me, we need to have a little conversation. If you cooperate well, you might even get to visit an old friend of yours."

Before I could even ask, Sawyer had the door opened and Ben was already walking inside. I carefully slipped stretchable skirt he offered me and walked out of the cage behind him. My baby gurgled and touched his face with his teeny fingers. Ben slammed the door shut and locked Sawyer inside, who cast one last look at me, with that same fiery gaze, and then looked away.

Ben led me inside the building and eventually stopped in front of a restroom.

"You'll find a changing table and a sponge so you can wash your baby, and a spare change of clothes. After you've changed, I'd like you to come back out so we can have a talk."

I didn't ask any questions before I locked myself inside my bathroom. I pulled the changing table down and set my little precious boy down on it. I wet the sponge in the sink and gently dabbed him off with the sponge. He looked up at me with those big eyes, so confused by everything he had been forced to meet. He was everything I could've ever dreamed of, everything I could've imagined. On the toilet along with some clothes were diapers, and a pacifier.

Why was Ben offering all of these things to me? Did he think it would make it easier for me to trust him, or was it a way to get me to do what he wanted? Whatever it was, I was on my guard now more then ever. I finished washing him and putting a diaper on him before I got dressed myself. The clothes were a decent fit, but they were much too girly for something I would normally wear.

I wrapped the baby back up in a clean blanket and started for the bathroom door. Whatever Ben was playing at, I just had to play along with it until I could figure something else out. Whatever he had planned couldn't be good. I stepped out of the bathroom and shut the door gently behind me. The baby sucked on his pacifier contently, and slowly began to drift off to sleep.

"Good, now that you're mostly cleaned up, we can talk. I thought it would be best that we didn't go back outside, wouldn't want to expose the baby to too much sunlight so early, now would we?"

I said nothing. Ben started off down the hallway again and led us into a room that appeared something like a kitchen. We sat down at a table and lovingly ran my hand against the baby's cheek.

"So have you any name for it?"

Now that he mentioned it, I really never thought of a name for a boy. Just nothing really seemed to appeal to me for boys' names, at least, nothing I could think of.

"No. I haven't." I admitted.

"That's alright, I'm sure you'll think of one. But now, to business. Amy, I know how much you and my friend Judith seem to connect, and I'm sure you'd love to see him."

My heart fluttered at Jude's name, but I kept the expression off my face.

"I would like to see him, yes."

"Well, I'm afraid there's something I need you to do for me first. See, I have this friend, and I need you to have a little conversation with him."

"I'm not sure I can do that Ben. I mean, you did lie to me, you have tried to kill me on two occasions, and you tried to have my baby cut out of me."

"Amy, I need you to look past all of that. I'm sure you can look past a few…minor instances and help me out with this one little project."

"Why can't I see Jude?" I tried to keep my voice level. "What have you done with him?"

Ben sat back in his seat and just looked at me, saying nothing. He was creeping me out with his unreeling stare, and I wanted nothing more then to just bolt from the room.

"Ok Amy, I'm sorry, but I didn't want it to come to this. Either you come with me to see this person, or I'm going to kill Jude. And this time, I won't bring him back."

My eyes widened and I felt as though my heart had skipped a beat. Not only was he threatening to kill Jude, but he had just revealed to me that he was the one who had brought him back to life.

"Because you see, Judith has ignored my rules for far too long. And right about now, he's on his way down to an execution. So unless you start playing along with my little game, I'm going to kill him."

"Ok." I agreed without another though. "Ok, I'll do whatever you say. Please. Just, don't hurt him."

"Good." Ben rose from his chair and started for the door. "Shall we get moving then?"

**A/N: Please review.**

**-Jackie-**


	3. Potentially Screwed

I didn't realize Ben meant to leave immediately until he actually ordered Tom to get us backpacks with plenty of water. While we waited, I gently ran my fingers against my sleeping baby's face. I tried to keep my eyes off of Ben, but I could just feel his stare drilling into my head. I wasn't sure if I was even going to come back alive, but for now I just had to trust what Ben needed me to do.

"So after this, I can see Jude, right?" I finally asked, looking up at him.

"Absolutely, that is, of course, if he wants to see you."

I was struck by his comment, and also very confused.

"What do you mean 'if' he wants to see me? Why wouldn't he want to see me?" I tried not to let it show that it was bothering me.

"Well...I don't know how to explain this to you Amy. But Jude was sleeping with one of my people while he's been staying here."

It was like a blow to the stomach for me, but I sucked in a deep breath and didn't let it show that that information was tearing me apart. How could Jude do that to me? He told me he loved me! Tom entered the room at that moment, carrying two backpacks. I slid mine onto just one of my shoulders and stood up as slowly as possible. I felt extremely drained of all energy, but I got up as instructed and followed Ben out of the room. The moment we stepped outside we were blinded by the sunlight, and I wrapped the blanket around my baby to protect him from the harmful sunlight.

"I wouldn't worry too much about the sun hurting the baby." Ben said. "We are going to be walking through mostly shade anyways."

Sure enough, we soon entered through a thick area of the forest and Ben stopped and faced me.

"Why don't you walk beside me? I'd sure like to answer some of those questions you had for me back when I was held prisoner at your camp."

I didn't trust him, not one bit. Ben had that kind of fake smile that was just barely noticeable, but still somewhat visible. He scared me, I'll admit it. I wasn't sure what to be scared of yet, I just knew that when he looked at me, I felt petrified. Ben smiled again and gestured for me to continue walking. I was silent for the moment, but Ben began to prod at me.

"Come on, you must have something still left to ask me. You seemed so eager to talk to me back in the hatch."

"You're going to kill me, aren't you Benry?"

"'Benry?'" He repeated.

"A cross between Henry and Ben. I thought it fit."

Ben laughed, and his laugh was also extremely nerve wracking. I held my baby closer to my chest, trying to relax. The baby was still fast asleep, but I knew that it wouldn't last very long. I hoped it would last long enough for me to at least, hopefully, make it back somewhere alive. Ben continued to walk, seemingly to have forgotten about my question.

"You're going to kill me, aren't you?" I said again, my heart pounding.

"Why would you think I was going to kill you? Why would I have any reason to?"

When I gestured to the baby in my arms, Ben merely shook his head.

"I wanted that baby, sure, but I wanted it before it was born. Not that you've given birth to it, what use is it to me now?"

"'Use?'" I reiterated.

"Well I was planning to raise him as one of us. You know."

"You still haven't answered my question."

"Why don't you ask a different one? Maybe I don't feel like answering that question right now."

His response frightened me even more. And now that I felt this terrified, I wished Charlie was here, now more than ever. But for all Charlie knew, I was safe and sound. I wished he was here, to help me feel safe.

"D-Do you know anybody named Charles Widmore?"

Ben stopped completely, and I got that same feeling that I had just asked a bad question. Ben's face was set, but he suddenly shook it off and smiled.

"You have so many odd questions. Where did you here that name from?"

When I didn't answer, Ben just continued to walk onward. I stopped with the questions and followed in silence for the rest of the time. Finally we stopped in front of a large, deteriorated cabin. The cabin had vines creeping up the side, and the windows were broken. The front door was barely staying upright, and some of the paint on the cabin appeared to be coming off.

"Do you see anything here?" Ben asked, completely serious.

"Do you mean the big brown half run-down cabin about three feet in front of us? If not then no."

"Why don't we take a look inside?"

Ben led the way to the front door and pulled it aside for me to walk through. I stopped instead and looked at him.

"What?" He asked. "Do you think I'm going to shoot you in the back when you walk in?"

"Kinda."

Ben smiled and shrugged, walking in himself. I followed behind him cautiously, and the door closed behind me. It was much darker inside, even though it was bright sunshine outside. The baby in my arms suddenly began to fuss, kicking against the blanket and running his little hands against his face.

"Amy..."

I looked up to see who had called me, because it definitely wasn't Ben. There was a man hidden in the shadows of the room, sitting in a wooden chair. My heart was pounding in my throat, and suddenly, it was just me and the man in the room, it was as if Ben wasn't even there. I froze in the same spot on the ground and stared at the person.

"Amy. My name is Jacob."

I tried to form words, but a cold chill settled in around me, and the baby began to wail as loudly as he could. I rocked him gently and tapped on his pacifier, but nothing going satiate him.

"You must never leave Amy, this island needs you."

The cold chill suddenly lifted and the room lit up a bit more. I turned to see Ben standing in the corner, staring at me with a fierceness in his eyes.

"What did he say to you?"

I looked down at the baby, who had stopped fussing and was now looking around the cabin with his big blue eyes wide. I looked up at Ben, and then bolted out of the cabin. I stopped just outside, leaning against a tree. I couldn't shake off that cold feeling I had just experienced, it was as if it had just coiled itself around my body like a snake and refused to let go. Ben was next to me not a moment later, breathing heavily.

"What did he say to you? Tell me right now!"

"He...He said his name was Jacob, and he said I could...never leave the island. He said that the island...needed me."

I was breathing heavy, hot tears building up in the back of my eyes. My arms were trembling and covered in goosebumps, but I held the baby close, as if it could protect me, and not the other way around. Ben finally exhaled heavily and shifted his bag over his shoulder.

"Well then," He cleared his throat. "We better get moving."

As he started to walk, I stared at his back, astounded.

"That's it?" I demanded, standing upright.

Ben turned around, confused.

"Is what it?"

"You're not going to explain any of that to me? You're not going to tell me who that man was, or why he has a cabin in the middle of the jungle?"

"What cabin?"

I spun back around, but the cabin was not there. My mouth agape, I babbled to try and figure out what had just happened. There was a cabin just there! I had seen it! I walked inside! Where the hell did it go?

"You'll figure out everything for yourself soon enough Amy. You're a smart girl, it shouldn't take you very long."

Ben began to walk again, and I stood staring for a moment, trying to wrap my head around what had just happened. It didn't make any sense! How could something be there one minute, and be gone the next? My head spinning, I followed behind Ben, unaware of my surroundings, and clueless as to where he was leading me. I probably should've been more worried, wandering around in the jungle with somebody lethal, but I was more wrapped around the whole cabin thing. I just didn't make any sense to me. Then again, half the things that occurred on this island didn't make any sense to me. I finally pushed it to the back of my mind to be something thought about later and turned my attention to Ben.

"Where exactly are we going now?" I asked quietly, shifting the baby over in my arms.

Without a word Ben pulled through a clearing, showing that we were back at the station. With a confused look, I stared.

"I thought you said you'd take me to see Jude."

"I am taking you to see him." He paused. "Did you think I would set a camera up where you could easily view him?"

With shivers running up my spine, I continued to follow. We passed through the long, dark corridor and finally Ben stopped, staring at me with those unreadable eyes.

"You've got two minutes."

He pulled open the door wide enough for me to step inside. I slowly made my way past him, and nearly jumped out of my skin as the door slammed shut behind me. And there he was. Jude was slumped on the ground, chains on his hands, binding him to the floor. He looked up, his shaggy hair in his face. I felt my heart quickening its pace and slowly approached the thick glass that divided us.

"Amy?" I could barely hear him.

"Yeah," I smiled tearfully. "Yeah it's me."

He got up off the ground and came up to the glass. I put up my free hand where his hand was and pressed my head against the glass. I could almost feel the warmth of his breath, and nothing else seemed to matter. But Jude suddenly looked up, and looked down at the sleeping bundle in my arms. At first, he looked completely amused and happy to see it, but then, something changed in his expression. His eyes became cold and hard, and he stared down at my baby like it was demon itself.

"What's the matter?" I demanded, putting my arm back around the baby.

"You just have it?"

"Around an hour or so ago, yeah, why?"

He stepped back away from the glass and ran his hand across his head. Then, he looked back up at me with a sudden fierceness in his eyes.

"You love me, don't you?"

"Of course I love you." I answered without thought. "You're my best-"

"Not like that." He cut me off. "I mean you really love me, don't you?"

I had to think about it for a second, letting all of my emotions and feelings run together. Then I smiled and looked back up at him.

"Yeah Jude, I really do love you."

He nodded his head and paced for a brief moment. He was mulling something over in his mind, and I was completely lost. What was he so worked up about? Was there something wrong with my baby? Did he think it was ill or something?

"Get rid of it." He finally said, looking back up.

His words hit me, hard, but I brushed it off with a nervous laugh.

"Get rid of him?" I asked, my voice shaking. "What do you mean-"

"I mean get rid of it, Amy. Give it to Ben, kill it, but get rid of it."

"Jude, how could you ask me to-"

"That THING is a spawn of somebody who raped you! How could you even hold it in your arms?!"

I struggled to find my voice, but I slowly backed away from the glass, and looked up at him with hurt eyes.

"You wanna know what I did to him Amy? Huh?" Jude demanded, coming up to the glass again. "I killed him. I stabbed him, I shot him, and you know what else? It felt great. He was dead! Dead by my own hand! And if you don't get rid of that little spawn, the second I get out of here, I'm gonna kill it myself."

I couldn't believe what he was saying, but I had to just accept it as it was. Jude had officially lost his mind. He had killed Mitchell, and he would be perfectly capable of killing again. He wasn't the Jude that I had grown up with, and he probably would never be the same again. I started toward the door, and Jude's voice froze me.

"Hey!" He shouted, slamming his hands against the glass. "You're really going to choose that thing over me?"

I turned back slowly to look at him, and I gave him the same cold, deadly glare that I had given my mother. It was all in his eyes, and I should've seen it before. He was no longer Jude.

"This is my child, and I will love it no matter what." I pulled open the door. "If you come within a foot of my baby Jude, I'll kill you."

And with that I closed the door behind me. Ben looked up from his position on the wall, but I did not change my glare. Ben had something to do with the way Jude was now, and I would figure it out eventually. Like Ben said, I was a smart girl.

"Did you get out all you needed to say?"

"Yeah Ben, it's all been taken care of. So what now? You drug me up and take my baby?"

"I already told you Amy, I don't want your baby. What I do want is to just have a talk with you. Maybe we should go back in that room and sit?"

With a shrug I followed, finally glancing back down at the baby. He was awake now, and stared up at me with big blue eyes. He had a lot of brown hair on his head, so hopefully he was going to look more like me. We made it back to the original room we had been in earlier, and Ben sat in the same chair. I lowered myself down slowly, my head spinning.

"You realize that you will never be able to leave here now, right?" Ben began, sitting forward with his hands folded.

"Do you mean this island, or this area in particular?"

"A little of both. If Jacob told you that you could never leave, he obviously needs you for something."

"Who the hell is this Jacob person anyways?" I demanded, my voice raising. "Why is he so god damn important?"

"Jacob tells everyone who can see him what they need to do. You don't ever go against Jacob, you never question."

"Well I am questioning. Why the hell does he want me? I'm not special!"

"But Jacob thinks you are. I need to study you more, Amy. And I'm sure being out in a cage with Sawyer will not help you and the baby."

"Being locked up period isn't going to help me." I grumbled. "You know what would really help me? Let me go. Let me go back to the beach."

"So you can do what?" Ben shot back. "Hang out with your drug addict buddy Charlie?"

At Charlie's name my throat felt dry, and I had to swallow several times to get rid of the knot that had built up. I missed him terribly.

"Charlie's not a drug addict anymore."

"Oh so he says. But do you know that for sure?"

"YOU'RE JUST PISSED BECAUSE HE SHOT ETHAN!" I yelled.

The baby in my arms finally began to wail, his screams quiet loud and piercing. I kicked back the chair and walked, trying to figure out how to silence him. The pacifier was not soothing him, and he seemed inconsolable.

"Try bouncing him a little bit." Ben ordered above the shrieks.

I tried for a few moments, and eventually his cries subsided. I smiled as he grabbed onto my finger and moved it in his tiny finger.

"I got him to stop crying." I said to myself.

I grabbed the chair I had kicked away and sat back down slowly, muttering profanities under my breath.

"Ethan was a good man, but he was incredibly reckless, and didn't put too much thought into anything. His loss was bad, but not terrible."

He finally ran a hand over his head, and smiled back up at me.

"You know Amy, you were so fascinating while I was held captive at your camp. There's just something about you that makes you so...interesting."

"I'm not interesting at all. I'm a bitchy teenage girl with a baby. That's it."

Even as I said this, I felt my head throb, and my vision was slightly blurred. I knew the exhaustion was overwhelming me, but while I was here, with my baby, I wouldn't sleep. I wasn't going to risk the chance that one of these bastards come anywhere near my baby. He was mine, all mine. I was going to love him and take care of him, and nobody was going to harm him.

"I think you might've had enough for today. We'll pick this up again tomorrow."

"I'm fine." I snapped. "Just finish up with me."

"I'm afraid it's not that simple. There's a lot that needs to be done with you. But for now, I've got an appointment with Sawyer."

"Don't you hurt him!" I hissed, rising from my chair again.

"Why do you care so much?" Ben asked sincerely, turning his head. "The man says he doesn't give a rip about you, and yet you stand here defending him."

Ben's message sank in, and the confusion arose again. Sawyer confused me so much; I couldn't make heads or tails of what he really felt. There was that one day when I heard him murmuring my name in his sleep, but I'd never bring it up to him again. The door behind me suddenly opened and a woman stepped out, her face expressionless.

"You needed to see me?" She asked, her voice as monotone as her expression.

"I need you to take Amy away, secure her in a room, and make sure the door is locked tight."

The woman nodded and grabbed me by my arm and led me out of the room. As she dragged me along, I cursed Ben with every foul name I could think of under my breath. The woman finally stopped in front of a windowless cement room, similar to that of Jude's cell. She pushed me inside and slammed the door shut behind me. I thought she had left until she came around the other side, glancing up at the camera.

"Lucky for you this one doesn't work. Ben doesn't think you'll try anything funny."

"He's right." I snapped. "Why would I want to risk anything with my baby?"

The woman half-smiled and pushed her blonde hair off her shoulders.

"I'm Juliet." She introduced herself.

"That's just great. Are you Ben's little bitch? Do you do whatever he asks you?"

"Pretty much." She answered.

I was surprised by her response, but I refused to let it show. I sank to the floor and laid my head back against the wall.

"You need to just do what Ben says," She said quietly. "If you do, nothing bad will happen to you. I promise."

I looked back up at her with my red eyes, untrusting.

"I don't believe you."

The door suddenly flew open and Tom entered. Without a word to me, he beckoned Juliet to follow him. She looked at me one last time before she closed the door behind her. I didn't believe that the camera wasn't working, actually I was almost 100% sure that it was functioning. I laid my head back and became absorbed in my thoughts, at least until the baby began to cry again. I had to feed him. Breast feeding would be completely weird for me, but it wasn't like they were going to drop off some formula for me. I turned my back to the camera and slowly pulled off my shirt. It was then that I realized how dirty I had gotten, how bruised I had been, and how big my breasts had swollen. It was gross, I'll admit. I looked gross, but while being trapped on a deserted island, I wasn't too concerned with my looks. I pulled the baby close and allowed him to eat until he had his fill.

After that I pulled my shirt back on and turned back in the direction of the camera. I stuck up my middle finger to it, just because I was almost sure Ben was watching me. I cradled the baby in my arms and watched as he slowly began to drift off to sleep. I ran my index finger up and down his face, and loved watching as his eyes slowly began to close. He was the most beautiful thing I had seen in the world. And as he drifted off to a secure sleep, my mind flickered over to Charlie. I missed him so terribly, I wanted nothing more than to go back to the beach and have him hug me tightly. I hated to admit it, but Charlie had become a huge part of me.

And then there was Desmond to think about. What was he doing now? Had he attempted to stop drinking, or was he still drunk off his ass on the beach, staring out at the ocean? My mind was buzzing with thoughts, and I was completely unaware of how long I was trapped in the room. I could've been hours, or maybe even a whole day had passed. My ass was sore from sitting on the ground for so long, and my head was bobbing up and down as I tried to force myself to stay awake. The baby in my arms was enough motivation to keep myself awake, but I wasn't sure how long it would really last.

**A/N: please send reviews.**

**-Jackie-**


	4. Exhaustion

The exhaustion was almost overpowering. Every second that dragged on, my body screamed in the utmost agony. The baby was giving me a hard time as well, when at first he had been calm, and now he screamed constantly, his wails shooting through my limbs and causing my brain to throb. If I could just sleep, all of the pain would disappear. But Ben was watching, I felt it. I didn't trust his "I don't want your baby" bullshit, not one bit. I had to force my eyes open, and any moment when I felt I would fall asleep, the baby's screams sent a jolt that caused me to remain awake. I had no idea how much time had passed since Ben had put me in my isolated cell, but Juliet came back with a tray of food, she as she had at least eight other times.

"How are you holding out?" She asked from the intercom.

I was aware that she was there, but her words went in one ear and out the other. She came around the other side and came in, shutting the door behind her. She was shaking my arm, calling my name, but her voice sounded so far off in the distance. Suddenly, I felt the baby sliding from my arms, and a brief surge of energy shot through me as I pounced on her, my free hand gripping her throat.

"LET HIM GO! GIVE HIM BACK TO ME!" I ordered, my voice cracking as it reached a pitch it hadn't obtained in…however long it's been.

Juliet thrust the baby back into my free arm and I finally released my grip on her neck and flopped back against the wall, slightly more alert then I had been. I held the baby close to my chest, glaring at Juliet as she coughed and tried to catch her breath. When she had finally recovered, she stormed out of the room, slamming the door shut behind her. I glanced down at the food tray I had kicked over in my fury, and noticed something odd sticking out from underneath the water bottle. I picked it up with my free hand and brought the note close to my face, turning from the camera so Ben couldn't see it.

"Ten minutes."

That was all it said. There was no signature, no indication as to what the person had intended by the note. As I mulled this over in my fried mind, the door on my side slid open again, and a young girl made her way into the room, a large rifle slung across her shoulders. Yet even with the large weapon in her arms, I didn't feel frightened. I recognized her face. It was the girl who had helped me get out when Ethan had kidnapped me. What the hell was her name?

"We've got to go, right now. I know you're exhausted, but you've got to come with me."

She helped pull me to my feet, but I shrugged off her arm as she began to pull me toward the door. I couldn't leave, not yet.

"Sawyer…" I cracked, my throat dry.

The girl…god damn it what was her name…picked up the water bottle from the tray and continued to pull on my arm.

"Somebody is already working on a plan to get your other friends out of here, but if we don't leave right now, I can't get you back to your beach."

I was so out of it I just went along with what she said, but stopped her once again and pointed at the camera mounted on the other side of the wall.

"I thought Juliet told you, that camera is broken. Now can we please?" She gestured for the door.

I finally allowed her to drag me through the darkened hallways, making sure to keep me in the shadows. The baby was sleeping for the first time in hours, so he wasn't being too much of a nuisance in the sneaking we were doing. I knew she'd get in trouble for helping me, which led me to wonder about her motivation for helping me a second time. Who cares, I thought in the back of my mind. I need to just get the hell out of here, and if she's willing to risk her ass to help me, then it was no skin off my back. We finally made it outside, and I felt relief as I realized that we were at least halfway out of danger.

"There are a set of boats on the shore ahead, I've got my boyfriend to row you back toward your island, and he's going to try and get you as close as possible to your camp."

Suddenly loud sirens were blaring in the distance, and people were running around. The girl cursed under her breath and pulled me under the shadows of some trees. We could hear the people shouting from where we were.

"They've escaped again! God damn it they've escaped!"

They? Were they talking about the girl too? Or maybe Sawyer and Kate have gotten out somehow too! The girl had mentioned that she had somebody that was going to help them. The girl was cursing under her breath as she continued to pull me through the wooded area. It wasn't long before she said;

"There! Just beyond those bushes are the boats!"

I turned to thank her, but suddenly, I froze. Directly behind her I could make out Jude's hulking figure, and I could see the rage flaring in his eyes. The girl spun around and raised her gun, but when she saw who it was, she lowered the weapon and smiled.

"You scared me to death Jude. How the hell did you get out?" The girl asked.

Jude didn't answer. His eyes were drilling deep inside me, as he stared at the baby furled up in my arms.

"You didn't kill it? I told you to get rid of it, Amy."

The girl looked from me to Jude and her face furrowed, confused.

"Jude, we don't have time for this. I've got to get Amy and her baby out of here. They're coming!"

Jude pulled out a long knife, one that resembled something Locke would've used to kill a boar. I pushed my baby into the girl's arms and stood in front of her.

"Stay…back!" I tried to sound threatening.

Then, Jude terrified me. He smiled. He was no longer my childhood friend, he was no longer the love of my life, he was an other. Jude suddenly lunged in the girl's direction but I caught him around the waist and somehow managed to throw the two of us to the ground. I kicked the knife clear of his hand and we rolled across the grass, punching and kicking in the blackness of the night. I had another surge of adrenaline and did my best to throw him off me. The girl stood there, trying to shield my baby from Jude every chance he got free. At one point he broke free and charged at the girl, but I leapt onto his back and dug my nails deep into the flesh of his face. Jude screamed in pain and threw me off him, directly onto my back, knocking the wind out of me. By the time I had caught my breath, Jude was searching for his knife in the dark.

"I'm gonna kill that fucking baby of yours Amy, and then, I'm gonna kill you. I _love_ you, sweetheart."

I saw the glint of his knife beside me and rolled over to retrieve it. Jude saw my movements and leapt toward me, landing on top of my back and trying to force my hands away as he reached for the knife as well. Suddenly, my fingers closed around the blade and I turned over quickly…

…ramming the knife directly into his skull.

Jude's scream of agonizing pain could be heard for miles, and the instant he collapsed on the ground, I wrenched the knife from his skull, watching the blood drain onto the grass. I stared at the blade and then tossed it on the ground beside him. I took the gun from the girl's shoulders and fired directly at his skull.

His face was unrecognizable, and his once piercing screams had gone, and the only sounds we heard were the people yelling in the background. I took my baby from the girl's arms and she instantly got to work on a cover up. She picked up the blade and made a small cut on her stomach, and then removed the belt from her pants and ruffled up her hair.

She looked, convincingly enough, like a victim of a sexual assault. With her voice trembling, she turned back to me.

"Hurry up! Get to that boat!"

I didn't waste another second. I didn't spare Jude's destroyed body another glance. I ran through the clearing and threw myself in the boat with the man, who didn't look to be much older than the girl. Without asking any questions he began to row away from the island as fast as he could, and we could hear the people's voices finally discovering the horror scene.

I looked down at my bloodied hands, and saw that they were trembling from underneath the baby's blanket. The exhaustion came back in full force, and I nearly passed out on the boat as the man rowed away.

"Is Alex alright?" He asked in a hushed voice, as though the Others could still hear us.

I could only manage a nod, and he didn't press on with any further questions. My shirt was covered with blood and even, disgustingly, brain matter. I brushed the bits of brain of my shirt with my shaking hands, and suddenly, a wave of nausea overcame me. I turned my head and promptly vomited into the ocean. Since I barely had any food at all, it was just basically liquid and stomach fluids coming up.

"Who'd you shoot?" The man asked.

In between heaves, I managed to tell him Jude's name.

"Ah, I see. Poor guy. He came to this island, and Ben made so many promises to him, things like you would never be harmed, and that he would get to have revenge on the guy who got you pregnant. But Ben wouldn't tell him when he could see you. Poor guy talked about you all the time. I heard from Juliet that he'd-"

"Stop…" I pleaded. "No more."

The man nodded and continued rowing and finally the island slowly shrank behind us. The man, Karl he said his name was, talked quietly throughout the trip, mostly about Alex, and how her father was going to kill her for helping me. It was almost as if Karl was trying to get me to feel remorseful for having Alex help me. It wasn't like I had asked her for it, she came to me.

By the time the sun had begun to rise, we had finally made it back to our other island. He pushed the boat ashore and helped me get out.

"Your camp is directly through that clearing there." He paused, then added. "Don't worry about your other friends, Juliet has a plan to get them out of there safely. Don't try and come back, just let the plan work itself out. Give us about a week, and I promise you your friends will be back, safe and sound."

With that Karl pushed the boat back into the water and began to row back toward his island, back where he belonged. I almost began to feel a bit of remorse for what would happen to Alex and Karl, but for right now, my exhaustion was draining all of my energy. I was barely keeping myself standing, all I had to do was get back to the beach, and they would help me.

How could they help me though? I could still see Jude's splattered brain matters spread out about the trees, and I wanted to take that image out of my mind and block it forever. I forced myself to move onwards and, just as Karl had said, once I cleared through the trees, the campsite was directly in view. People were still asleep, and the sun was barely peaking up from beyond the horizon. The baby was wide awake, of course, but his curious eyes wandered the beach as I slowly stepped forward. My mind was clouding, I had to rouse somebody, anybody. The closest tent was Claire's, and she was sleeping soundly, one hand placed on top of the bars of Aaron's crib. I stumbled toward her tent and the instant I was in, Aaron made a loud gurgling noise. Claire woke with a start, looked around confused for a moment, then her eyes fell on me.

"Amy? Oh my God! Are you alright?" She looked at my arms. "Is that a baby?!"

She must've noticed my face, for she suddenly grabbed the baby from my arms and I collapsed on the ground, my head back against one of the poles supporting up her tent. I couldn't see, I couldn't think, I couldn't breathe. I heard Claire yelling for help, and then there was lots of noise. The exhaustion finally overtook me and I let it without a fight.

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It was a black sleep, all of the memories of the past few days seemed to push itself out of my mind in order to allow me to just recharge. God only knows how long I'd been asleep before my body finally decided it was time to wake up. I turned slowly and was facing John Locke, who was, at first, staring at the roof of my tent as though to find some sort of flaw in the design. Then, a small smile broke out on his face when he saw I had awakened.

"Good morning."

I sat up slowly, my body sore, and took the bottle of water he offered me. Once I had taken a drink from it, I looked around.

"Where's my baby?" I demanded.

"Claire's watching him right now. Got to tell you that you've had the entire beach shook up, coming back all bloody, beaten, and looking like death."

"Sorry." I apologized. "The Other's Salon was closed for business."

Locke smiled for a moment, but then it faded.

"What happened out there? Where are Jack, Kate, and Sawyer?"

I reiterated to him the events that had occurred during my captivity, excluding the part about Jacob. I didn't feel he really needed to know…not yet at least. Locke listened intently and nodded and asked questions only when I paused to draw in a breath. Then, once I had finished, he shook his head and stood up.

"Then I suppose the best we can do right now is wait to see if these Others truly stick to their word. You need to rest and relax."

And with that he left my tent, leaving me to sit alone in the darkness. I stood up a moment later, noting the bruises that covered my body. I made my way out of the tent and found Claire, looking slightly frazzled as she tried to take care of both the babies. I approached her slowly, and she smiled upon my arrival.

"How are you feeling?" She asked, rocking my baby in her arms.

"Better. A lot better now that I've slept."

"I can only imagine," She began as she handed back the baby to me. "I wouldn't sleep either if I had those Others watching me."

I looked down at my baby's sweet, innocent face and ran my hand across his cheek. He was so adorable, and he was all mine. I had saved him. Nothing would ever harm him.

"Did you think of a name yet?"

I shook my head.

"I've just been calling him Baby. I didn't have any boy names picked out."

Claire nodded as she tended to Aaron, and I suddenly felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and met Charlie's eyes for the first time in days, and I nearly burst into tears. I put my free arm around him and held him as tightly as I could, almost as if to never let him go. He put both his hands on my face gently and smiled.

"You alright? You had us worried sick."

And for the moment, I was. I truly was alright. But how long would that last?


	5. Chapter 5

Even though I was back with everyone else, I felt terribly alone. Since I finally got some sleep, my mind was flooded with the images of Jude's face...what I had done to him. I kept trying to convince myself that it was for the best, but his face kept coming back to haunt me. Every second I shut my eyes, I could see fury that burned in his expression, right before I had driven the knife directly in his skull. Now as I stood beside the ocean, I felt no fear for what it held. I only feared my own subconscious, and everything that lurked within it. I had disposed of the bloody blanket that I had wrapped around Baby, the one that Ben had given me. Baby kept me alert most of the time, grabbing my face whenever I became lost in my thoughts, or screaming whenever he wanted my attention. Despite the fact that he was only a day or so old, I could detect no hint of his father in him, and I had hopes that it would remain that way. I had already spent the vast majority of the morning reiterating to Charlie what had happened while we were there, and I could see the anger that twisted into his expression as soon as I told him about Jude.

"He deserved what he got," Charlie had said coldly as he played with Baby's fingers. "I'm glad he's dead."

I wanted to say the same, but deep down I knew I wasn't. Jude had been my best friend, and quite possibly the love of my life. Something had happened to him, and I was throughly convinced that Ben had something to do with it. Ben had changed him, so Ben would reek the consequences.

As the day dragged on, I found myself looking around for Desmond, and didn't find him till much later. He had wandered the beach all day long, and had finally returned to find me sitting in the sand with Baby asleep in my arms. I looked up at his approaching footsteps and forced a smile as he towered above me.

"You're back." He stated plainly.

"I think so. Wanna sit?"

Desmond slowly lowered himself to the ground beside me and glimpsed over at Baby, a smile crossing his face.

"I had him just two days or so ago. Sawyer had to help deliver him, you can imagine how awkward it was."

Desmond laughed quietly and I saw the necklace I had returned dangling from his neck. My eyes watched it, and he took notice of it.

"You were right about the liquor, Amy. I've gotten better, I've stopped drinking altogether. It did get me really messed up. And I'm sorry."

I nodded in understanding and ran my free hand through my hair.

"You come up with a name for him?" Desmond asked after a few minutes of silence.

"No, I've just been calling him Baby. Can't think of any other names. Charlie keeps telling me to name him Caleb, but I think that's kind of a dumb name."

"What about Danny?"

"Danny's a dumb name too. I dunno, I guess I wanted something, different."

As we sat together and watched the waves roll back and forth, I started to think back to Jude again. That is, until I noticed something different about Desmond's face. His hands were clenched tightly on the top of his knees, as though he were suffering some severe pain.

"Desmond? What's the matter?"

"Nothing." He responded instantly, his hands relaxing. "There's nothing wrong."

Instead of pestering him about it, I let the idea slide. But Desmond did not seem to lose any tension, even though his hands were not balled together, I could still see the look on his face.

"Do you want to hold him?" I asked suddenly, hoping to relieve some of Desmond's tension. "He'll probably go right back to sleep anyways."

"I uh, I don't think-"

I turned toward Desmond anyways and slowly placed Baby in his arms. At first, his hands were awkward, as though he weren't quite sure how to hold an infant properly. I carefully leaned over and adjusted his hands, so Baby was laying comfortably in his arms. Baby did not fall back asleep, but instead looked up at Desmond with wide, curious eyes. For the first time since I had met up with Desmond, a legitimate smile passed over his lips. He looked down at Baby as though it were his own son, and could not be any more at ease.

"He's beautiful." He finally spoke.

"I thought so too." I beamed. "It's a good thing Locke built me that crib a long time ago, or I would have to just sleep while I held him."

After several long moments of staring, Desmond finally placed Baby back in my arms. Almost instantly that worried look returned to his face and he stood up to leave. Instintively I grabbed his wrist before his rose to his full height.

"Desmond, please, just tell me what's on your mind. Don't keep this bottled up. It's almost as bad as the drinking."

Desmond looked around, as though he were worried, before he finally settled back down on the ground.

"When the hatch exploded," He began. "I woke up naked and alone in the forest. But something was different, I could see things."

"What do you mean?" I prodded.

"The other day, before you got back, there was a terrible storm. And during the storm I saw..." He paused. "I saw Charlie get struck by lightning, and he died."

"Charlie-?" My voice was almost strangled and I looked around for Charlie, only to see him walking toward Claire's tent. "But he's-"

"It was a vision, Amy. I saw Charlie die, but I was able to create a lightning rod, and prevent Charlie from getting electrocuted. But, I don't think I can stop it again. I think, that it will keep happening, every day, until Charlie eventually-"

"Dies?" I cut him off, my throat suddenly dry.

"Aye."

I ran my free hand through my hair, like I did whenever something was bugging me. I felt the tears building up in my eyes until I felt a hand clap down on my shoulder.

"Hey, I don't think I've seen you eat at all today," Charlie's voice sent chills down my spine. "Here."

He placed a bag of potato chips at my side before walking back off in the direction of Claire's voice. I don't think I could look at Charlie's face without succumbing to tears.

"I'm going to try and stop it, for as long as I can." Desmond promised.

"But he's going to die." I repeated, as though I couldn't believe it.

"Unless I can do something to stop it."

I sat there, letting this knowledge sink into me before I finally was able to rise to my feet. Desmond followed me back to my tent, where I finally placed Baby in his crib and began to rock him so he'd go to sleep for the night. Someone else was going to be taken away from me.

"And there's no stopping this? Like completely?"

"I don't even know if this is true yet, Amy." Desmond tried to be comforting. "I only saw his death today, the rest is just a theory."

"That doesn't make me feel any better."

"It wasn't supposed to." Desmond said, glancing behind him as if Charlie were standing right there.

"You can't let him go Desmond. Please." I made sure I made eye contact with him. "Please don't take Charlie away from me."

"It's not like I'm intentionally doing this."

I said nothing in return. Desmond got down on the ground beside me and stared at the side of my face as I tried to concentrate on putting Baby to sleep. I swallowed the knot in my throat and finally turned to face him.

"You have to trust that I'm going to try and stop this Amy. I'll do everything I can...I just don't know what will be enough."

"I know Desmond. I understand. I just..." I paused, trying not to succumb to tears. "I can't handle another death. I've already lost my brother and sister, I don't know what I would do without Charlie."

I turned toward Claire's tent to see Charlie bouncing Aaron with one arm and laughing with Claire. He was completely unaware.

"Are you going to tell him?"

"I don't see why he needs to know."

"He's going to die Desmond. Of course he deserves to know."

"Why would I burden him with something I might be able to prevent?"

"You burdened me with it." I snapped.

"I messed up our reunion." Desmond replied sharply, but quietly. "I want to prove to you that I've changed."

I ran a hand through my hair, not wanting to say what was on my mind. I turned to look and saw that Baby had fallen asleep, and the sun was beginning to set for the evening. I looked toward Charlie again and he waved at me as he talked with Hurley. I looked back at Baby and gently touched his cheek with the back of my hand. Desmond left moments later without another word and quietly closed the flap to my tent. I sat in the semi-darkness, my mind racing. I wouldn't lose Charlie. I couldn't. This island had taken a lot of things away from me, but it surely wouldn't take away...another. Would it?

To try and take my mind off of it, I thought back to Sawyer. My mind seemed to almost be encircled around him whenever I had free time to think. Sawyer confused and amazed me all at the same time...as I'm sure he did with everyone else. But it was one minute he seemed genuinely concerned with my well being, and the next he could care next to nothing about my existence. I felt...absolutely terrible for abandoning him. I had decided after the delivery of Baby that I would pursue this thing that was going on between the two of us, even if it killed me. I had to know. It was eating at my insides.

Insides...

Jude.

I squeezed my eyes shut tight to try and take his face out of my mind, and yet it lingered. His scream was the most tormenting. That bloodcurdling scream that tore from his lips as I rammed the knife through his head. I would have no mercy for any man who tried to hurt my child, and then I remembered it was Jude. I remembered our friendship...I remembered when he told me he loved me. I still felt the linger of his lips on mine.

And then I remembered that wild, psychotic look in his eyes. When he was no longer my best friend, but truly an "Other". Yet I couldn't bring myself to believe that...my love...had tried to kill me and my newly born son. It was a hard concept to grasp. I pressed the heels of my hands against my eyes and exhaled heavily. I crawled onto the makeshift bed I had made up and moved the pillows around so that my head was right next to Baby's crib. Soon, I fell fast asleep.

**A/N: Sorry, busy. This is it for now, sorry it's so short, I'll be sure to make the next chapter longer.**

**-Jackie-**


	6. Chapter 6

I couldn't look at Charlie's face without feeling utterly nauseous. Every time he talked to me or walked by me, I had to force myself to smile and nod, for fear that I would burst out into tears if I didn't. It didn't help to have Desmond walk by what felt like every few minutes, just to see what Charlie was up to. I also noted that Hurley looked upon Desmond with some suspicion. But I didn't have time to worry about that. With so much on my mind and Baby's constant fussing, I was nearly driven to the brink of insanity. Charlie helped some, but every time he came around I had to hide the look of anguish that tried to emerge on my face. Early one morning Claire was ready to go for a walk, and it appeared as though she were going to ask me to watch Aaron. But she walked past and asked if Sun would watch him instead. I didn't take offense to it. I assumed she just wanted to ensure that I didn't get overwhelmed. That's the kind of person she was. After I had finished feeding Baby, there was a soft rapping on my tent. Desmond pulled back the flap and leaned against one of the poles.

"You want to take a walk?"

I looked around and picked up the baby hat that Boone had bought me and placed it over Baby's head before I got up to my feet. As we walked, however, Charlie and Hurley both followed. They got into a conversation about Mr. Eko, who had unfortunately been killed not two days earlier, when Desmond suddenly started to look around.

"Des?" I asked quietly, pulling on his arm.

He suddenly broke off into a run, sprinting back toward the beach. I looked at the others before we all ran after him. Desmond was pulling off his clothes before he dived into the ocean in just his jeans. Charlie and Hurley stood dumbfounded as Sun walked up holding Aaron. A coldness seized my shoulders.

Claire.

"Where's Claire?" Charlie demanded.

"She went for a walk." Sun explained. "Why-?"

It suddenly dawned on her too, as a look of panic crossed her face.

"CLAIRE!" Charlie shouted and started to pull off his shoes.

"Charlie!" I screamed, seizing the back of his shirt before he could tear it off. "Charlie NO!"

He tried to shake me off, but just seconds later Desmond was back on shore, carrying an unconscious Claire in his arms. In the time it took me to panic, Claire had already coughed up all the water. I breathed easier as Desmond carried Claire back to her tent, and my heart stopped racing. Charlie put his hands behind his head and seemed utterly confused and panicked at the same time. I nudged him on the back.

"Let's go see if she's ok."

Charlie finally started moving, and we sat down inside her tent while Desmond walked away. Charlie took Claire's hand and wanted to know if she was alright. Desmond stood in the middle of the beach, breathing heavily. Charlie looked in his direction, and he seemed completely focused on him. After making one hundred percent sure that Claire was ok and promising to look after Aaron with her while she recovered, I walked over to where Desmond stood. He was staring fixedly at the ocean, and only once I tapped his side was my presence made aware.

"Are you ok?" I asked him, shifting Baby into a different position in my arms.

He said nothing.

"It was Charlie again, wasn't it?" I whispered.

"He went in after Claire. He didn't make it." Desmond replied, equally as quiet.

I wrapped my free arm around him and hugged him as tightly as I could.

"I don't know if I can keep this up Amy."

"You've got to try. I mean, I'm sure I can help."

"It's too dangerous for you to help. You can't see it happening, you wouldn't know."

"Come on. Come sit and eat with me."

Desmond reluctantly followed, picking up his shirt as we walked back to my tent. We sat down on the ground together, and I rocked Baby's crib with one hand and ate a box of fish crackers and cookies while Desmond ate some potato chips and a sandwich.

"I'm trying Amy." Desmond said slowly. "I really am."

"I know Desmond. And it's wrong of me to keep asking you to do this...but I just...I can't handle another death. I just can't."

"Hey Amy!"

The tent flap was pulled open and Charlie entered.

"You mind if we borrow Desmond for the rest of the day? We found something out of Sawyer's tent-"

"Why were you in Sawyer's tent?" I demanded. "He's going to get pissed when he comes back."

"It's just one thing. Bloody hell." Charlie replied. "What do you say, mate?"

Desmond looked at me and I just shrugged.

"You should probably help Claire out." Charlie said before he and Desmond walked away.

I sighed and picked Baby up out of his crib, and he immidietaly voiced his displeasure at being awoken when he screamed in my face.

"Look this wasn't MY idea." I said as I walked toward Claire's tent.

I wouldn't say Claire was struggling to deal with Aaron so much as she just seemed to exhausted then to want to do anything more. He had already been fed, so I rocked him in his cradle while I held Baby and listened to Claire talk. The conversation wasn't particularly interesting, but she told me a lot about her family and her life, things I never would've guessed about her. We talked about our families until well into the night, and Aaron had finally gone to sleep, and Claire was actually drifting off as well. I made sure not to leave until I was sure she was asleep and Aaron was asleep. I walked back to my tent, completely exhausted, and set Baby down in his crib for the night. I looked out my tent to see if Charlie, Hurley, and Desmond were still hanging out, and they were all hudled around the fire. I watched for just a moment, and in that minute, Desmond suddenly attacked Charlie, tackling him to the ground and wrapping his hands around his neck. I broke into a run over to them and literally fly-tackled Desmond off of him. Charlie turned over on his side and started coughing violently while I tried to calm Desmond down.

"Desmond! Desmond calm down!" I hissed, trying to keep the noise down so as not to awaken the entire camp.

It took awhile, but I was finally able to calm both Charlie and Desmond down. Hurley had passed out from the alcohol, and I couldn't help the fear that seized Desmond's face as he realized what he would have to do.

"Des don't." I said.

"Don't what?" Charlie demanded. "What is going on?!"

I put my face in my hands and inched back, giving room for Desmond to talk to Charlie directly. I tried not to listen, I tried to pretend that this was not happening, but no matter how much I wished, I still heard the horrible, heart-wrenching words.

"-but no matter what I do," Desmond said. "You're gonna die Charlie."

I cradled my face in my hands and felt the hot tears sting my eyes. I inhaled sharply and picked my head up, running my tear soaked hand through my hair.

"There's got to be a way to stop this." I said, fighting the tears. "There just has to be a way."

I turned to look at Charlie, and the shock that had crossed his face was unbearable to look at. I got up off the ground, holding my left arm with my right hand and walked away. I got inside the tent and shut the flap, wrapping the strands around the pole to ensure that I wouldn't be disturbed. The only comfort I had was the sound of Baby's quiet breathing and the silence of the campground. There was just too much to deal with...there was just so much pain that I was unable to bare. Awhile later I could hear Charlie trying to come in and asking if he could talk to me, but I just sat alone with my legs hugged up to my chest. It was awhile before I could finally drift off to sleep.

* * *

I was awoken the next morning by a lot of commotion. People were running around outside and shouting so much that I nearly bonked my head off of the pole. Baby immidieatly voiced his displeasure and screamed until I picked him up. I unwraveled the string around the main pole and pushed the tent flap back. A crowd had formed around someone or something, and it took me a minute to piece together who it might be. I wouldn't have any luck pushing past everyone, so I just sat back and waited until the crowd slowly began to disperse. Sawyer and Kate both emerged from the mass, both looking horribly dirty and exhausted. Irregardless, I walked over to them and put my free arm around Kate first. We jumped directly into the "Are you ok?" and "How did you escape?" subjects before she finally noticed Baby slung across my right arm.

"So this is your little boy, huh? Did you ever come up with a name?"

"Not one. I've just been calling him Baby. I've been getting suggestions here and there, but nothing that really stands out to me."

I looked around her, confused.

"Where's-"

"Jack got left behind. But not for very long. We're going to go back for him."

I was about to throw in my name to come along, but I looked behind where Charlie was hanging around Claire's tent and decided better of it. If he died while I was gone, I would never forgive myself. Not only that, I had Baby to look after. I just couldn't keep going off anymore, it was dangerous.

"You should probably ask Sayid if he wants to go with."

Kate agreed, and then started off for her tent to change her clothes. I looked around to see Sawyer, but he had gone off in a completely different direction, my best guess back to his tent. As I walked in that direction, I made absolutely sure not to walk where Charlie could see me. I didn't want to look at him...I didn't even want to talk about his impending death. By the time I got to Sawyer's tent, however, he had vanished once again. I also couldn't find Hurley anywhere. I finally gave up and decided I would just wait until he came back to talk to him. I needed to set things straight with Sawyer, because this awkward situation that had been going on between us had to end. I sat on the beach with my legs folded, rubbing Baby's bare stomach with my hand. He looked at me as though he were utterly confused before touching his face with his little hands. A mass of brown hair had begun to sprout from his little bald held, and his eyes still remained a bright blue.

"What do you think Baby?" I asked him out loud. "You think you're gonna look more like your Mommy or more like your dead Daddy?"

Baby turned his head and I did so too, only to see Charlie quickly approaching. I got up off the ground and fixed Baby's blanket, but was too slow to avoid him.

"Amy we've got to talk about this."

"Charlie, look I really, really don't wan to get into this. I'm trying to push all of this out of my head, because that's the way I deal with these things. Desmond's trying-"

"Desmond's not trying! He won't tell me if I'm supposed to die or not today!"

"Desmond doesn't want to be the death dealer. He doesn't want to have to tell you if and when you're going to die, because honestly Charlie, it is a burden. Please just, let's just take this one day at a time, ok?"

"Hey Charlie!" Hurley called from beside Charlie's tent. "Come here I found something!"

Charlie cast me a forlorn glance before he followed Hurley out into the jungle. I played with Baby the rest of the afternoon, watching as Kate, Locke, and Sayid all prepared to leave on a rescue mission to get Jack. About twenty minutes after they left, Hurley, Jin, Charlie, and Sawyer all reappeared from the forest. Sawyer was carrying a large case of beer, looked around, and then walked back into his tent. I got up off the ground for the fifth time that day and started for Sawyer's tent. Hurley and Charlie were discussing a van of some sorts, and Sawyer was sitting outside, drinking a beer. When I finally stopped in front of him, he looked up, shrugged, and took another sip of beer.

"You mind moving? You're blocking my sunlight."

"The sun is almost gone." I replied.

"Well you're blocking what's left of it."

I sighed and got back on the ground, sitting so close to Sawyer our knees were almost touching.

"Why you sittin' so damn close?"

"Sawyer, this has got to stop."

"Want a beer?"

I was actually very, very tempted to take one of the old beers. But with Baby still sitting in my arms, I decided better of it.

"Sawyer I've had enough of this."

"Had enough of what? You haven't even had one yet."

"I meant I've had enough of this back and forth game. Don't pretend you don't care. I've seen the way you look."

"What in the hell are you-"

I held Baby up carefully underneath his arms and held him just inches from Sawyer's face.

"Look at his face Sawyer. You see that? That's a baby. That's MY baby. How does that make you feel?"

I pulled Baby back and set him back in my arms.

"Does that make you uncomfortable? Does that make you think about whatever the hell it is that goes on in your head. I'm tired of listening to you pretend like you don't give a rat's ass about anybody on this island. If it wasn't for you, my baby would be with Ben."

That same cold, heartless look passed over Sawyer's face. And I knew that if I didn't back down soon that this would get ugly. But I had enough. This time I would not back down.

**A/N: I'll try and update soon, but it's Christmas week!**

**-Jackie-**


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